Friends & Colleagues
I just wanna take a quick poll on the above topic & want to know what u all think.
My question is - "Can colleagues be friends?"
Case #1
By colleagues I mean people you work with in ur own Department or with whom you need to liaise with & work with most days. Colleagues here can also refer to Boss or subordinates & not just peers.
Case #2
Here by colleagues I mean people in another Division / Department but in the same organisation. Again, colleagues here can also refer to Boss or subordinates & not just peers.
Case #3
Would you like your friends to become your colleagues i.e boss / peers/ subordinates?
Your views on this please.........thanx.
My question is - "Can colleagues be friends?"
Case #1
By colleagues I mean people you work with in ur own Department or with whom you need to liaise with & work with most days. Colleagues here can also refer to Boss or subordinates & not just peers.
Case #2
Here by colleagues I mean people in another Division / Department but in the same organisation. Again, colleagues here can also refer to Boss or subordinates & not just peers.
Case #3
Would you like your friends to become your colleagues i.e boss / peers/ subordinates?
Your views on this please.........thanx.
posted by Has to be me @ 3:43 PM
53 Comments:
At 4:27 PM,
starry said…
Me first....I think you can be friends, but not really best friends because for some reason if your friendship breaks up then your whole work place will know of everything you ever confided in that person thinking he or she is a true friend.I have seen this happen. I think work friends for the most part are casual friends.There are exceptions to this.once in a way you come across a really nice person and you end up being best friends for life.I have not met that work friend yet, but it does occasionally happen.sorry for this long comment.Its 8am and I have a lot of energy.
At 4:31 PM,
KK said…
I actually dont mind either my colleagues(same dept or different dept) being my friend or my friend becoming my colleague. All that matters for me is that person's frequency has to match with my frequency to be my friend if not he/she can't be my friend :)
I mostly keep friendship and work apart. I dont like to mix them. So if my friend is my boss, I will be his subordinate during office time, after office he will be my friend :)
At 4:40 PM,
Rajesh &Shankari said…
We started of as a boss and subordinate and then became best friends,so when my boss quit to take up another job, her manager assumed that I will go with her too and was showing all the anger he had on her, on me..
And when your boss is your best friend, colleagues are bound to feel that he/she is getting a better treatment..I think it should be kept apart...
At 4:52 PM,
SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said…
Case 1: Yes. I have had many friends from my own department. Some of them are the office grapevine type but I have never missed cool normal guys.
Case 2: Yes , yes again...I think I have had more frnds from other departments...My bosses were always my frnds, I guess I pull their legs too much u c...
Case 3: Colleague yes. Boss- I am not so sure as it may be uncomfortable for the boss to be gyanning his friend who is his subordinate and the sub may take some offence as the friend ship allready existed. But if both parties keep the notion tht friendship n professional ettiquette r different n one cant be mixed with the other, then its fine!!!
At 4:54 PM,
SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said…
One more pointer, I was referring ot be friends and not soul mate friends or something as that may be rare though not totally impossible..Common, today we have couples, husband wife n all sort of relationships tht develop in an office n things go by fine!
At 5:08 PM,
Has to be me said…
Starry,
Thank u fr the nice n long comment! I quite agree with u. Need to be wary abt the friendship breaking up.
kk,
Thats damn cool abt ya. No attitude problems eh? Good going!
Shankari,
Yup that is quite possible in the working corporate world for others to assume all such things. But like u said I think its better to keep them apart.
Scribblez,
U being such a friendly person Im sure it wud be a cake walk fr u when it comes to colleagues n friends! Yes, I too believe that they cant get close beyond a point. Just friends & not v.close friends I guess. Isnt it? and yes ofcourse office does provide a good place fr many relationships to start!!! ;)
At 6:04 PM,
Movie Mazaa said…
well...i work in a college, and if my fellow faculty members cud be called colleagues, I shud say we have a wonderful time together. We literally have a blast!
But I hv also worked at other places, where it hasnt been that fun. I guess when like-minded individuals happen to be clustered together, theres immediate rapport that goes on to form a cheerful environment. Even if they happen to be not-so-like-minded, it wud work wonders, if they r receptive atleast!
:)
At 6:21 PM,
KK said…
No attitude problems until now...touch wood :)
At 7:37 PM,
AJ ! Serendipity !!! said…
it all depends on d kind of work culture an orgn has :)
sometimes being frnds hepls
at oter times a professional approach is better
At 7:51 PM,
Patty said…
My limited experience is working in the therapy world, most of my life I have been self-employed. I became friends with a traveling therapist, who then took a full time postion as manager at another facility and hired me to be on her team. I felt the need to distance myself from her once she was my boss, to make things easier when she had to do "boss stuff." It is hard to do "boss stuff" with a friend I think.
As to non-boss co-workers, I saw the rest of the team members at a party a couple of Saturdays ago. (First time in two years that we were all together, but we have all kept in touch all along.) I count these people among my dearest friends and really appreciate the job that brought us all together, as the job allowed us to bond together in a special way that will always remain so no matter where our life paths lead us as individuals.
At 8:17 PM,
Priya said…
I think friendship in office to me will not be too personal which depends how long I will continue to work ther. I basically group friendship in office as hi and bye.
Case 1 & 2: You can definitely have friends based on what you
are going to share at office.
Case 3: Not as my boss/ but as my peers. It will trigger your friendship when someone has more power and stronger than you demanding jobs.
At 9:43 PM,
Sarah said…
As I used to work in a closed environment of doctors and nurses, it was really hard to be friends with colleagues.. there is always issue of professional animosity..
At 11:52 PM,
jhantu said…
I dont really prefer my colleagues to be my dearie friends, except the case when a long time friend suddenly becomes a colleague, else no
At 4:39 AM,
Anand said…
Not really..
I thunk realtionships always get screwed when we mix personal and professional life!
Id rather keep them apart!
At 7:37 AM,
Shanthi said…
#1
I do have a friend who falls in this category. But its only bcos of our characters that we still continue to be good to each other. Ofcourse we couldn't be close friends. Its tough to have friends in this case.
#2
Definitely possible ! I have a lovely gang of friends and we are really close : )
#3
i happened to get a subordinate who is of my age/batch/college. we do get along well but we do fight often officially. i couldn't be a friend to him bcos of this.
In conclusion peers in other dept can be really good friends. Boss/subordinate - Not easy for me. Peers within dept - u can find friends in them if u know to draw the line and not try to take advantage or get exploited. Aana peer friends within dept can understand u more and be more helpful.
At 7:07 AM,
Kuan Gung said…
I believe it's all relative and comes down to tye individual traits...I could work and be friends wit any quality individuals...thank you
At 9:22 AM,
ketki said…
colleagues can be friends
i would vlove to have frnds as coll.
At 2:47 AM,
geeth said…
As for me, colleagues can be friends in both case 1 and case 2.
But for case 3, it is not preferred.. especially being a boss. But, if it can be helped, i can live with it ;)
At 4:03 AM,
Harish said…
case 1 and case 2 are fine. Personally i am fine with case 3...But i am not sure if case 3 works well for many...it may lead to discomfort or ego clashes.
At 4:26 AM,
Ms Congeniality said…
case 1: U can be friends but not that close as u cannot ultimately trust him/her with any misgiving u've felt abt the work/dept
case 2:Same as above though the person may be from a different dept
case 3:If peers then ok..boss/subordinate not ok..
In all the above cases, it also depends on the person and how comfortable u are with him/her..in fact I have a very close friend from another dept(belonging to case2) who I can trust with anything and everything and viceversa :-)
At 6:15 AM,
Keshi said…
ofcourse colleagues CAN be friends and
Friends CAN be colleagues.
I have made good friends with many colleagues b4. And also some of my friends have later joined me at work too.
Cos friendship happens between 2 souls...it doesnt care abt job-titles.
Keshi.
At 6:24 AM,
Vishnu said…
case #1: Can be but how much trustworthy s/he is?
case #2: Refer case #1 :)
case #3: It's a difficult situation here. I prefer not 2 be. coz at any time our in born frnd EGO shows his head :)
Cheers!
:)
At 8:27 AM,
Mukund said…
Case 1: its been a mixed bag for me! I have made some really good friends but there are also some ppl whom I cant even stand the sight of!
Case 2: This doesnt apply to me, since we are just one firm of lawyers!
Case 3: I'd rather not want my friends to become colleagues...i wouldnt want to be in a situation where the ego comes between the friendship...
At 8:53 AM,
Strictly for my friends said…
I think it would be a yes to all three.
But a certain amount of distance needs to be meintained or else a very strict "profesional should not mix with personal" attitude hsa to be kept in mind.
At 9:50 AM,
Junius said…
collegues can become frnds no problem,
but then they shouldnot take undue advantage of being friends..
At 10:26 AM,
Has to be me said…
Velu,
Thats really good to note, Mr Professor! Do u also have a blast with the students?! ;)
KK, :-)
Ajay,
Like u said, sometimes professioal approach is better indeed.
At 10:33 AM,
Has to be me said…
Patty,
Yup doig the boss stuff is either too easy if not, not that easy with friends!
Priya,
hmmm, casual friends @ office eh?!
Sarah,
Prof animosity sucks. But I now tend to realise that its part of life for most ppl.
At 10:54 AM,
Has to be me said…
Jhantu,
Welcome 2 my blog & thanks for ur opinion.
anand,
hmm u seem to know ur priorities in life!
Shanthi,
Nee kalakuma...nee sooper than po!
At 10:56 AM,
Has to be me said…
Kuan,
Good thinking!
Ketki,
Thats absolutely cool! Very few ppl think that way.
Geetha,
U seem absolutely flexible! Super.
Harish,
Yet another person with no hang ups. Gooood!
At 10:58 AM,
Has to be me said…
Ms Con,
Since the corporate worlds full of mean tricks u never know whats right & whats not!
Keshi,
Like the way u think!
Vishnu,
Have u encountered such situations in ur career?
At 11:00 AM,
Has to be me said…
Vakil,
Enjoy with ur friends & let the rest beware of ya!
S4myF,
Between friends might not be able to maintain too much of professionalism.
Endevourme,
U never know till it happens!
At 11:04 AM,
prithz said…
i dutn have much experience to comment ;(
At 11:04 AM,
Mukund said…
kanakku madam,
aanalum romba mosam neenga....edho veetu vaasal'la "beware of dog" board podara madiri yennayum sollitteenga......:p
At 11:13 AM,
Has to be me said…
Vakil,
Ha ha! Neega sonathuku aparam than I felt that way!! I meant that those ppl whose sight u cant stand shd watch out! ;-s
At 11:17 AM,
Mukund said…
oru notice anuppalam'nu irunden....aana first time'nu vitutten :P
At 11:21 AM,
Junius said…
ya thats true, when collegues become collegue-friends,
we cant UNDO ;-)
At 11:28 AM,
Has to be me said…
Vakil,
Achucho.....neega romba danger party-ah irrukaygalay! Chinna chinna vishayamku ellam notice-nu! Actually I was only (trying to) praise u!! ;)
At 11:36 AM,
Mukund said…
idhulendu, naan evlo vetti'nu teriyaradu illa :) aana "praising u"nnu ellam solli ippadi soap vekka venaam ;)
At 1:07 PM,
Pritika Gupta said…
I dnt mind if my frnd become my colleague.. but if he become my boss i will be highly uncomfortable.. i dnt mind my colleague becoming my frnd...as i very less have competitive feeling
At 4:43 PM,
Loga said…
1.I have got lots of gud friends within dept in my old office and they r still my nice friends...ya but if the relationship gets worse due to some reasons, its very uncomfortable
But with Boss, I am not comfortable in maintaining friendship
2.Sure...Same wavelength is jus the requirement...never mind ur dept or other dept
3.I have not got a chance till day
At 4:43 PM,
Loga said…
1.I have got lots of gud friends within dept in my old office and they r still my nice friends...ya but if the relationship gets worse due to some reasons, its very uncomfortable
But with Boss, I am not comfortable in maintaining friendship
2.Sure...Same wavelength is jus the requirement...never mind ur dept or other dept
3.I have not got a chance till day
At 12:45 AM,
Ram said…
Hi hastobeme - Here are my thoughts -
To work with someone, or for someone, you need to respect them. You don't need to like them, but you must respect them for their abilities and for the work they do.
To become friends, you need to like them as well.
I wouldn't think that you can "like" everyone you work with. On the same note, you cannot "respect" everyone you like...
Any use?
Ram
At 7:30 AM,
Why Am I said…
haha oh my gawd i was just thinking of posting something on this!...am quite friendly with my colleagues and some of my other "outside" friends were questioning the professional environment and how we were beingnot so professioanl. I think ti depends on wht kind of roganisation ur in and he ppl around...it can actually be good if ur friendly with the ppl u work with rather than treat everyone like "colleagues" or "subordinates" etc
At 9:23 AM,
Ekta said…
Well...
earlier i used to think its possible but I now think that these two should not be mixed..they create more chaos than pleasure!
At 10:10 AM,
Indianpeppone said…
Peer friendship is great.... but not a pretty sight when u grow and see the back stabbing and squabbling.... ego kills most friendships... must be down to individuals in the end.... am not ego free yet i guess :)
At 3:53 PM,
Syam said…
How come I missed this post...colleagues can be friends but tat friendship wouldn't be as good as school or college friendship, school and college friendship is unconditional....
At 5:41 PM,
Has to be me said…
Vakil,
Ellam escape route-u than!:D
PG,
Chill out dear. Hope u dont encounter a situation where ur friend becomes ur boss.
Loga,
Good 2 note the same.
At 5:43 PM,
Has to be me said…
Ram,
Sure, thanks! Welcome back.
why am I,
Friendiness sure helps a lot but one shd also leanr to control their ego too with friends i think.
Ekta,
One bitten twice shy eh?
At 5:45 PM,
Has to be me said…
Indianpep,
Welcome to my blog & thanks for ur comments. Guess v r all just humans & not yet attained the ego free state! ;)
Syam,
/maybe u missed it cos u r not in full action these days! Sure nothing to beat the skool/college friendship.
At 9:43 PM,
KC! said…
Colleagues can be friends, but not close in any way coz there are too many obstacles to it...recent-adhan oru backstab anubavichen andha effect :))
Thanks for the comment on my blog :)
At 6:29 AM,
Anonymous said…
well I am sure they can be friends as I've found some great people whom I genuinely like through work...but its the same work that makes me reluctant to get to know them more than I naturaly do.....I feel one should keep pesonal and professional lives separate or there will be no space!!
and I dont like the idea of friends becoming colleagues..lets keep friends out of ofc politics!!
At 10:18 AM,
Has to be me said…
Usha,
Back stab kodumai pathi yezhuthalaya?
Chandni,
Good 2 c ya back. Been so long. Yup office politics sucks!
At 12:10 AM,
Ram said…
Good to be back...I had to relocate temporarily to California and work piled up...I've been observing all the time though...
All of the above is an euphemism for the fact that I was vetti, and enjoying being a somberi kazhutha the past month :)
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