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Friday, July 28, 2006

Relationships

I believe that most of our lives revolve around relationships that we have with near & dear ones. Everything that we are and everything that we do, I think, boils down to relationships. And in some way or the other we need these relations & also depend on one of them, if not more. So how do u deal with ur relations? With extra care? Or just taking it easy? Or just not bothered?

How do u handle the situation when the following are rude to u or have upset u?

1. Parents
2. Spouse
3. Kids
4. Friends
5. Colleagues
6. In-laws
7. Strangers

I know this is a general question & is likely to depend on the situation. But just wld like to know ur stand on the same in the vast sense. Speak up!

posted by Has to be me @ 4:16 PM  

27 Comments:

  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger prithz said…

    Me first!!!!! :)

    Well, here goes my answers...

    1. Parents - shout back to my heart's content, or sometimes, i will stay calm, listen to blaring music in my mp3, little listening to wat they say... then , later, shoving my ego, i will ask for one ice-cream, and it will be over!!! lolzzzz!!! :)

    2. Spouse - dunno :(

    3. Kids - u mean my kids.. not yet... dunno dear...

    4. Friends - hmmm... sometimes, i try to move forward and solve it... but sometimes, i let time to cure it...

    5. Colleagues - dunno yet...

    6. In-laws - Dunno...hope i dunt have to encounter such a situation..

    7. Strangers - Well, i shout back(if they are rude).. and get away.. forget and forgive...

     

  • At 5:47 PM, Blogger Priya said…

    Parents: Unless I am affected, I do not argue.
    Spouse: Its 50-50 and I don't like to shout coz it leads to anger and frustration. We get along by understanding each others needs.
    Kids: Dunno
    Friends: If they are honest, I try to be the same. Never differentiate between friends and like to treat all the same.
    Colleagues: Just be nice and get along well with whom I work. Even if someone irritates me, I just shrug it off coz it never bothers me.
    In-laws: Aslong as you do not show your negative attitude and talk about your home at inlaws house, you can have a good life. Comparison will make them feel irritate.
    Strangers: Just give a happy smile and walk off.

     

  • At 9:42 PM, Blogger starry said…

    Parents..cannot be rude. try and see their point of view.

    Spouse.communication is they key.try and explain your point of view and also take into consideration how he feels.sometimes it may be just a simple thing.

    Kids..If kids are rude, you have to explain to them where they are wrong.because it is our duty to teach them and set examples.If we accept bad behavior then they will think it is the norm.

    Friends. It depends how close your friend is.

    Colleagues..you have a right to point out to the person that he or she was rude.and explain yourself .

    Inlaws..very touchy subject. I just over look it no use pointing things out because you will never be right.Handle with care.

    Strangers...dont know what I will do.

     

  • At 2:56 AM, Blogger SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said…

    1. Parents: The truth told by parents are considered "rude" by us, especially when we are in the teenage bracket. I used to always get angry and sometimes hurt but know realise that they were not rude, they were merely stating facts which was blind to me.


    2. Spouse: Mostly again realise that the stern way of putting things across is perceived to be rude as we always excpet the honey bunny language and a certain deflection I am instantly hurt and want to apologise for the reason why he was rude to me. I dont know mad, illogical rudeness so cant really say.


    3. Kids: I have no personal experience but me being a kid and being rude to my parents makes them think they have not groomed me well.

    4. Friends: Friends being rude, in most cases it is not taken to heart but in some cases depending on the situation I feel I have the wrong friend!!

    5. Colleagues: Hmmm..I used ot get angry, bitter when they said rude things....But I used to bouncce back with sacarsm until I point out in my own sacarstic way that they were very rude and I dont expect to take rudeness from my colleagues.

    6. In-laws: I havent experienced rudeness again but if they were rude, I would try and see reason again if the reson for the rudeness is to wake me up, maybe...

    7. Strangers: Seriously, strangers being rude, I am left thinking "that ball of frustration needs to shred his/her frustration elsewhere"...Dont feel anything deep!

    Questionnaire lady, u seem to be having a lot many interesting questions....Whts all this survey for?

     

  • At 6:39 AM, Blogger Movie Mazaa said…

    Parents ~ I dont mind taking in a bit of shouting from the people whom I love most in the world.

    Spouse ~ NA

    Kids ~My own ~ NA ;)

    Kids ~ I am nice to them. Even the worst of brats soften up to me, hehe.

    friends ~ we never fight as such; the worst of disagreements are resolved without much ado.

    colleagues ~ shhhh! teachers dont fight! they r never rude either..hehehehe..! ;)

    in-laws ~ NA

    strngers ~ they seldom get a chance to be rude with me. those who do, are patiently ignored.

    :) hey that was a nice post!

     

  • At 5:13 PM, Blogger Ms Congeniality said…

    Just one thing to be remembered..words once spoken cannot be taken back..but again everything depends on the situation..

     

  • At 2:40 PM, Blogger Shiv said…

    i dun think i can give answers to many there..simple cos am still single..but if i get upset..mostly i spk it out..sometimes i dun think of wat the other person thinks..tat's my nature...paavam naan..:)

     

  • At 4:15 AM, Blogger geeth said…

    Let me see...
    1. Parents - I try not to be rude.. How can I? :)
    2. Spouse - Hehehe.. I do scold him once in a while. But anger doesn't last long.. We usually make up very fast :)
    3. Kids - I nag them.. but I definitely try not to be rude with them :)
    4. Friends & 5. Colleagues - Cannot be rude.. People might just be too sensititve. If they undertsand some gestures and signs, let it be..
    6. In-laws - Cannot be rude. If don't liek what they are saying or unhappy about something, be quite or just walk off smiling :)
    7. Strangers - Unless necessary.. otherwise, just ignore. Being rude doesn't help solve matters, especially to strangers :)

     

  • At 6:57 AM, Blogger Keshi said…

    u forgot siblings :) Anyways...

    **1. Parents

    I get very upset when mum is rude to me...usually I keep quiet cos she's my mum...but if it's something totally unfair that she's saying to me, I stand up for myself and say what I have to.


    **2. Spouse

    I used to cry when my ex-BF upset me...sometimes I used to tell him off and not speak for few days.


    **3. Kids

    I dun have my own kids but when some other kid is rude to me, I teach them then and there that its not the right thing to do.


    **4. Friends

    Alot of friends have upset me...and Im sure I have upset alot of friends too :) We just deal with the situation and move on. Sometimes we break up for good. Depends on what's being said.


    **5. Colleagues

    If it's something really rude, I'd tell em then n there that its wrong. If not, I just forget it and move on. At work u gotta be professional - u shouldnt take things too personally.


    **6. In-laws

    Thank God I dun have em lol!


    **7. Strangers

    I tell em then and there.


    Keshi.

     

  • At 8:01 AM, Blogger Madhu said…

    Hey, Am not angry with u..... just out of touch. I dont have net access as am travelling so I couldnt visit ur blog. So dont get upset, as soon as am back to base, will bombard ur blog with my comments :)

    Madhu

     

  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Junius said…

    2,3,6 - NA, others....mmmm....not sure....depends on the situation...
    7 - i am usually comfy with strangers...

     

  • At 2:51 PM, Blogger Patty said…

    I would love to say that I treat everyone the same..... I follow the Golden Rule...... And on good days this might be true in general.

    Unfortunately, I do not always have good days.

    I can say that I really don't make different distinctions for different relationships. EVERYONE knows exactly how I feel, both from my facial expressions, and by what comes out of my mouth. For the most part, this is a good thing, but once in a while, I think it might be better to hide my feelings a bit better...... esp. with strangers.

     

  • At 3:58 PM, Blogger Princess said…

    ~~Parents--
    They don't do that to me often. :)
    ~~Spouse--
    Not yet married. :)
    ~~Kids--
    I won't be a mom until i get married. :)
    ~~Friends--
    Would be rude to them when they are [ if they are very close to me - as they understand me] To other friends will not allow them to behave with me like that and if they do, I think I'll leave the friendship for them in no time [if they are rude to me at the beginning of the relationship itself then How can I expect them to be a nice friend then after]
    ~~Colleagues--
    Starting to work soon :)
    ~~In-Laws--
    I think I won't have in laws now. :)
    ~~Strangers--
    I'll prefer not to interact much with them and I'll avoid them.

     

  • At 5:57 PM, Blogger KK said…

    *Parents - If I realize that I did something wrong, I will be quiet and listen and analyse whatever they say, but if I did'nt do anything wrong then I argue and fight for myself. Mostly its arguments and no raising voices, except for a few times where we lost cool completely.

    *Spouse - N/A

    *Kids - Actually N/A, but I have dealt with my nephews a bit. I talk very gently to them to make them understand why its wrong to be like that. It's our duty to teach them.

    *Friends - Try talking to find if there is any mis-communication. If there is something wrong on my part I apologize and work on solving the problem, if they still persist, then I feel I have done my part, its upto them to either go on or break up with the friendship. If it's their mistake, I forgive them as long as they dont keep repeating the same mistake.

    *Colleagues - If they are rude, I will leave it as if I didnt hear it, If they repeat it then I talk to them alone and say I did'nt like their behaviour in a very polite and straight forward manner.

    *InLaws - N/A

    *Strangers - No reaction, Will avoid any further interaction with them.

     

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Syam said…

    Parents - can argue
    Spouse - no comments :-)
    kids - rendu mothu
    friends - no problem
    colleagues - free vitralaam
    in-laws - again no comments :-)
    strangers - take 'em to the nearest bar

     

  • At 9:32 PM, Blogger Harish said…

    Parents - Sandai pottu romba naal aachcu. So maranduttaen

    Spouse - GF kkae vazhui kaanum. Spouse varappa paathukalaam.

    Kids - Neah. I cant get angry with kids.

    Friends - kashtma irukkum.Its hard to digest that he/she is angry with me and try hard to act as pacifier.

    Colleagues - friend na kashtama irukkum. Illana poda.

    In laws - If wrong is on their side, then give them stick

    Strangers - depends on situation. But usually i hate arguments.

     

  • At 11:24 PM, Blogger Butterflies said…

    Parents:i think u have more rights with them...so u can argue!!!afterall our parents!!!

    Spouse:mmm.....it depend on which year of married life u r!;-)

    Kids:go in their way and catch them!

    Collegues:be very formal!

    In laws:butter them....or they mite screw up things!

    Strangers:don bother much !

     

  • At 6:27 AM, Blogger chitra said…

    Parents : Talk it out, because they wouldnt have meant to be rude!
    Spouse : i wish i can say the same thing, but some times ego creeps in. Well, depending on the situation and mood, it gets resolved.
    Kids : My son realises it. He always apologises.
    Friends : Can never upset u. They would again not upset u or be rude to you, Yes, sometimes they can use as as an outlet for letting their emotions out. Yes, u can always tell them when u r upset.
    Colleagues : Difficult situation!
    In-laws: Here, those things never get resolved. And life continues, relations continue wih all those grudges.
    Strangers : i dont care. They can never upset me!

     

  • At 10:09 AM, Blogger Scoot said…

    Everyone has a different equation in the scheme of things and if someone very special has hurt us,I usually make sure i let them know they have by just ignoring or not talking to them and making them hurt almost equally...well it also depends on the situation.
    when it comes to kids and the likes....they are younger,they hav to be forgiven in some way.

     

  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    1. Parents : I don't mind even if they shout. They used to do it but now they miss me:)

    2. Spouse: We differ on a few things but still chemistry match and issues get resolved soon

    3. Kids : He is never rude to me, he always felt that I am doing more than my capacity for him and for his father.

    4. Friends: They can't be rude, there may be differences but always mind true friends really care for you.

    5. Colleagues: We continue working together one has to be professional.

    6. In-laws : I have very good in-laws who loves me a lot

    7. Strangers: I think one can be more comfortable with strangers. If they are rude we can ignore them. After all we don't have to do anything with them. :)

     

  • At 10:39 AM, Blogger Anand said…

    ha well..
    guess uv answered the question urself..it all depends
    Honestly for me I cant think abt "how do I handle each relationship"...for me the most important part is "how do I go with the flow!

     

  • At 11:10 PM, Blogger Priya said…

    Where is your input H2bee??

     

  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Has to be me said…

    Priya,
    U caught me on that one!!!

    Anywayz heres mine!

    1. With parents tho initially I used toget upset on something, later on when I used to think abt it in a calm mind, I've always known that they were right! I've always been an obedient daughter! :p

    2.Spouse - its quite subjective. Sometimes leads to arguements else just shut up!

    3. Kids - just learning to tackle them! When my son says something rude, I dont talk to him which upsets him & so he usually comes back to me with a sorry! Tho I dunno how long it wud last!!

    4. Friends- Have seldom been rude to me. If they do, I try n sort it out then & there. Worst case I've broken up :(

    5.Colleagues - I share a more professional relation with colleagues & not too personal...so it doesnt really matter to me.

    6. In-laws - They have been nice to me. So I also better be nice to them!!! ;)

    7. Strangers - Im normally polite unless there is a reason not to be. But yes there r times when I get too angered too...but thats v.v.rare!!!

    Hope that completes it! :)

     

  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Has to be me said…

    Keshi,
    Yup I did forget siblings! Thats cos I dun have any!! :)

    Anycase whats ur stand with siblings?

     

  • At 3:02 PM, Blogger Priya said…

    H2bee,
    /I've always been an obedient daughter! / I can see that with your picture in the blog.. how obedient you are:-))

    Just kidding....

    With siblings: if they hurt me, I fight back during my school and college days.. Well not now....

     

  • At 4:03 PM, Blogger Pavithra said…

    Good post !! Made me think

    Parents - They usually don't get upset on me so if they do, they have a reason. I remain calm and apologize if I've made a mistake else I try to tell them I didn't really mean it.

    Spouse - The person who suffers most with me :-) So far (nearly a year) he hasn't been rude to me. So when he's upset on me, I never take it easy.

    Kids - N/A. Guess - I think I may get upset for a few minutes and then forget it.

    Friends - I tell them to their face that they did it wrong. Then forget it within sometime.

    Collegues - Same as friends.

    In-laws - Hubby gets the blow here too :-).

    Strangers - I don't care.

     

  • At 4:24 AM, Blogger Ram said…

    1. Parents
    Be the kid - be honest and say . They can handle it and you can afford to be stupid or immature - they are used to it :)

    2. Spouse
    Err...no idea. I will review what others are saying here...

    3. Kids
    Same as 2

    4. Friends
    I think it is almost a necessity to be honest and speak what you feel.Sometimes, I've found that a friendship is strengthened when you have to deal with such trying times.

    5. Colleagues
    Its important for colleagues to respect you, and not cross boundaries [unless they are friends]. So if they act rudely, I would not hesitate in letting them know politely that they acted rudely!

    6. In-laws
    Holy crap!

    7. Strangers
    Hmm...treat them as if they are your potential in-laws..hehehe..with care. I would hate to let loose on someone and then meet them later on in life.

     

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